Distractions
by Blackbirdox
Summary: There are many methods to take your mind off of things but for Knox and Neil, there's only one that works. Her name is April.


**Disclaimer: I don't own Dead Poets Society. However, if anyone can make it possible for me to own Charlie and/or Todd, I would be forever in your debt.**

**A/N: This is yet another one-shot written for and dedicated to DeadPoet0712. I call her a one-shot whore but I'm always happy to write them for her. What kind of best friend would I be if I didn't? I hope she enjoys it and that the rest of you reading do as well. It switches from Neil's to Knox's point of view so I hope that doesn't create any confusion. If you can spare the time to review, it'd be very much appreciated!**

It doesn't take a lot to make Neil Perry happy. He loves acting, he loves his friends, and he loves school but most of all, he loves April. She's the one thing that can make him happy above all else and she's the most important thing in his world. No matter what else is going on around him- fights with his family or stress from school- if she's there, he can get through anything.

She's kind and warm and loving- unbelievably so- and she can fix anything without having to do much at all. Just a simple touch or smile can make his head spin and then the rest of the world and all of his problems are easily forgotten.

April can just read him like a book and she can always pick up on a shift in his mood- no matter how small. Neil doesn't even bother to hide anything from her anymore because he knows she just sees right through him. Annoying as it can be sometimes, particularly when he's trying to surprise her with something, he's so thankful for it because when he can't seem to find the words to describe how he's feeling, she understands him anyway.

When he wanders into her dorm room, for example, his confrontation with his father still fresh in his mind, she takes one look at him and is on her feet in an instant; shooing her roommate out and taking him by the hand, leading him over to sit down on her bed.

They're both silent for several moments, each waiting for the other to say something, before April speaks up. "Neil?" she asks cautiously, reaching over to gently place hand on his knee. "What happened?"

He slowly lowers his gaze from the wall and the spot he was staring at and instead focuses his attention on her. He clears his throat once, and then again, before he's able to say anything at all. "It's just… my father." He pauses and swallows thickly. "He… wants me to quit. The uh, play."

She seems to automatically understand he can't talk about it anymore and she immediately winds her arms around him and lets her head fall onto his chest, directly over his heart which is thudding right along; even though Neil is absolutely convinced it's breaking. He can't stand the thought of having to give up something he loves so much- something that makes him so happy and brings him so much joy. He's lived with the feeling of being trapped his entire life but never has it felt so suffocating or constricting or made him want to just turn away and run.

"I'm sorry Neil," April whispers into the fabric of his shirt, pressing a feather light kiss to his chest.

His cheek comes to rest on the top of her head and he exhales sharply as he closes his eyes. "No, it's… yeah. It's okay," he mumbles. "Nothing you did."

Neil is furious. He's hurt and e can't remember a time where he'd ever despised his father so much but somehow, with his girl in his arms, he's slipped into some sort of comfortable numbness and he can't be bothered to think about that around her. He can worry about it later- and he knows that he will- but right now isn't the time.

So instead, he slowly lies back against the pillows on her bed and eases her down with him, smiling to himself as she curls into his side.

"Is there something I can do for you?" she asks, resting her chin on his chest so she can look up at him.

Neil stares up at the ceiling for a moment as he thinks about it before he lowers his gaze to her and a lazy grin spreads across his face. "Actually," he drawls, dragging out the last syllable. "I think there might be."

April blinks once in confusion and then smiles brightly as she catches on, her eyes twinkling in amusement. "Oh really? And what might that be?"

"You can distract me."

Neil suddenly pushes her back against the mattress and rolls over on top of her, eliciting a squeal of laughter that he quickly quiets with a forceful kiss. He can feel April smile against his lips and just like that, every single thought swirling around his mind has vanished. For now.

KNKNKN

Neil's death had been a shock. It was so abrupt and sudden and completely out of the blue that Knox was still having trouble believing it was true. Neil had never shown any signs or given any warning. He was just there one day and gone the next- vanished. All that he'd left behind was just this hole that even two weeks later, no one could seem to fill. They were empty. The world felt empty_._

Normal routines were carried out and classes were attended but everything was just _different._ Smiles were faked and laughs were forced and every motion and conversation was so robotic and mechanical that it was as if no one could tolerate moving on- being the first one to truly allow themselves to be happy again.

Knox felt as if he was going to go insane. The grief was so consuming and overpowering and there always seemed to be a little dash of guilt thrown in a long with it. Neil had been one of his best friends. Neil had always been there for him. Why couldn't he have been there for Neil?

He did his best to stifle it and instead, he had decided to focus on being there for everyone else. Those who'd known Neil and those who hadn't- he wanted to help everyone. He just _had_ to help. He felt obligated.

April was his main concern, first and foremost. He'd been close friends with her for what felt like forever and he'd never, ever seen in her in the state she was in now. As broken up as he was, he couldn't begin to even imagine how she was feeling because he'd loved Neil but she had been _in _love with him and he doubted that there was something more painful than losing the person who had once been your everything.

Thankfully blessed with permission from Nolan, Knox spent a good majority of his time with her, alternating with her roommate. He'd go to class one day and stay with April during the night and then they'd switch next day- giving them both a chance to stay caught up on classes and sleep the best they could while they watched out for her.

When Knox passes April's roommate in the hallway as he makes his way to her dorm- yawning and still half asleep- he raises an eyebrow slightly at her haggard appearance and the thick, dark circles circling her eyes. "Bad night?" he asks cautiously.

She stops to consider his question for a moment before shaking her head. "Not exactly." She sighs and runs a hand through her messy hair. "You'll find out. I gotta go. I'm going to be late." She pats him once on the back before hurrying off down the hallway, leaving Knox standing in front of the door with a bewildered expression.

Shrugging, he simply pushes the door open and pokes his head inside. "April? Can I come in?"

Without waiting for her response, he pushes the door open the rest of the way and steps inside, his eyes growing wide at the sight he's greeted with. At first he doesn't even notice the half empty liquor bottle in her or the two other empty ones scattered across the room because April is smiling- actually _smiling_ and that's the first time in two weeks that he's seen her do that.

"Hi Knoxy," she calls from where she's perched cross- legged on the bed- bright-eyed and completely and totally_ wasted_.

Knox takes a cautious step forward and quietly closes the door behind him. "Uh. Hi, April." He clears his throat as he sits down beside her. "How are you today?" he asks, as if it isn't already obvious.

Her brows furrow and she's quiet for a moment before she begins to giggle. "'M drunk."

It's been so long since he's heard her laugh and the sound is so infectious that that it makes him chuckle a little as he raises his hand up to awkwardly rub the back of his neck. "Uh, yeah. I can see that."

When her giggles finally taper off and come to a stop, April sighs quietly and stares down at the half empty bottle in her hand, swirling the amber liquid around inside. "It would have been our anniversary today," she whispers and her voice is so quiet that Knox almost misses what she says.

He doesn't know what to say so he doesn't say anything at all and he just leans over and envelops her in a hug.

Knox misses Neil terribly and he understands that he had been feeling pressured and trapped and that's what had compelled him to do what he did but he hates him. He hates him for the choice he made- the _selfish_ choice he made- and the destruction he'd left behind. Most of all he hates him for hurting April like he had because if there's one person in the world who didn't deserve this, it's her.

Knox loves her. He has for as long as he could remember- since they were just kids. He wanted her so badly and he gladly stepped aside to let her be happy with Neil and he's never regretted anything more. He realizes now he should have fought for her. He should have held onto her and loved her the way she deserved to be loved. He never should have let her get hurt.

He holds onto her tightly and presses his face into the crook of her neck. "I'm sorry, April," he whispers against her skin, nuzzling it with his nose. "I'm so sorry."

"Yeah," she whispers back. He hears her sniffle and he automatically tightens his grip on her, causing her to squeak slightly in surprise.

Knox pulls back after a few seconds, pressing a swift kiss to her temple. "Is there anything I can do for you?"

April stops to think before she nods and sets her bottle on the nightstand. "Actually yes," she replies as she hooks a leg over his hip and slides over onto his lap. "You can distract me."

Stunned, he places his hands on her hips and stares up at her with wide eyes, mouth agape. "D-Distract you?"

She giggles again and leans down to brush her lips against his just slightly. "Yes, Knox. Distract me."

Knox knows this is the alcohol talking. He knows that she'd never actually want to be with him had she been sober. He knows how heartbroken she is and how much she's hurting. He knows they shouldn't be doing this but this is something he's wanted for a long time and he knows he can't pass up the opportunity.

She's so close to him and he can touch her and he can smell the soft hints of her floral perfume, mixing with the scent of the alcohol in an intoxicating combination that's drawn him in and completely clouded his judgment. Her skin is soft and warm beneath his hands and he just can't let her go.

His places his hand on the back of her neck and pulls her down into a kiss- all of his doubts and worries immediately fading from his mind. They're both hurting and they need each other and even though he knows it's wrong, something about it just feels right.

He pushes her back against the mattress and leans over her, running his hand up the length of her leg. His fingers dance across her knee and the soft skin of her thigh as he trails his hand up to the hem of the night dress she's wearing. Just one tug has it pulled up and off, dropped to the floor without a second thought.

April's drunken movements are slow and unsteady, despite her attempts to be quick, and her fingers fumble all over the place as she claws and tugs off his clothes- tossing them to the steadily growing pile on the floor.

If she has any hesitations, they don't show because she has him naked within minutes and then her trembling hands are _everywhere_- touching him in all the right places with the right amount of pressure to make him groan and gasp. She's driving him absolutely crazy and each and every little touch makes him feel as if he's about to jump out of his skin.

Knox _needs_ her and that need has become so painful that he doesn't want to wait any longer. When she glances up at him through hooded eyes and the fan of her dark lashes and smiles, he decides he can't.

He reaches down to tug off the lacy scrap of her underwear and hooks her leg back over his hip, entering her in one fluid motion.

April's gasp shatters the silence of the room and her nails dig into his back, gripping him tightly. Knox shudders slightly when she shifts beneath him and he immediately begins to move, keeping his thrusts slow and steady for a moment before his eagerness gets the better of him and causes him to speed up.

She easily begins matching his movements and though hers are a little uncoordinated at first, Knox is certain he's never felt anything better. They fit together seamlessly and the feeling of her flushed skin pressed against his and their lips moving together- breaking apart occasionally for one of them to gasp or let out a quiet groan- is like Heaven. It just has to be.

As the pace of his thrusts speeds up, his hand begins to wander- caressing the soft planes of her skin as he trails up to begin feeling her up. The angle of his hips shifts just slightly and when April cries out beneath him, he knows he's done something right.

He eagerly speeds up once more, making it a point to brush that spot each and every time. He's gotten so, so close and he's beginning to have difficulty holding back his release until one particularly hard thrust hits her spot and sends her tumbling over the edge.

April cries out his name and her nails dig further into his back- trigging Knox's own climax almost immediately. He groans loudly and his hand shoots out to grab a hold of the blankets beneath them. "Fuck, April," he gasps, making her giggle breathlessly.

Knox is still for a moment as he catches his breath before pulls out and rolls off of her, staring up at the ceiling in a daze. That wasn't exactly how he'd planned their first time together to be but somehow, it was better. It wasn't romantic love making like he'd always hoped for but that didn't matter. He'd wanted her for as long as he could remember and now, now he'd _finally_ had her. The surrounding circumstances didn't even faze him.

He can worry about everything else later- and he knows he will- but right now, there are more important things on his mind.

He smiles to himself as she curls into his side and lays her head on his chest. "You're a very good distraction," she mumbles, leaning up to press a kiss to his jaw.

Knox looks down at her and smirks. "You have no idea…"


End file.
